1. |
Halibut and Haddock
02:00
|
|||
|
I eat Halibut and Haddock in a hammock on me holiday.
|
||||
2. |
Do Re Me
01:59
|
|||
|
A doe's a deer, a female deer
Ray, a drop of golden sun
Me, a name I call myself
Far, a long long way to run
Huh!
Do Re Me 'cos I'm close to the edge
I'm just trying to cut my hedge
Huh Huh Huh Huh!
Repeat V
Do Re Me 'cos I'm close to the edge
I'm just trying to paint my shed
Huh Huh Huh Huh!
|
||||
3. |
Unicorns and Uniforms
00:07
|
|||
|
Unicorns and Uniforms
Uniforms and Unicorns
Unicorns and Uniforms
Death to you both
|
||||
4. |
Atheist's Itch
02:48
|
|||
|
There's an itch I can't scratch
I can't reach on my back
that proves God doesn't exist
i mean Hell knows.
If he does then surely
he designed us quite poorly
with inadequate number of elbows.
One seems to be fine
a good deal of the time
until unreachable itches persist.
and if not another
then there should be some cover
from more extendable, bendable wrists.
The Atheist's Itch!
|
||||
5. |
My Thai Bride Died
01:46
|
|||
|
I can't hide
the pain inside
it won't subside
my Thai bride died
my Thai bride died
in a tie-dyed shirt
she bought from the Kilbride
branch of Primark.
My Thai bride died x3
in a tie-dyed shirt
|
||||
6. |
||||
|
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I'M STUCK IN A LIFT WITH JETHRO!!
|
||||
7. |
Quality Carpets
00:57
|
|||
|
Quality Carpets Ha Ha Ha
Quality Carpets Ho Ho Ho
Quality Carpets He He He
Quality Carpets
Quality Carpets.
|
||||
8. |
||||
|
Socrates was a great thinker
regularly seen at the garden centre
bought himself a hose-regulator
for bowling green grass and a neat water feature
the envy of Nietzsche
Henry Winkler
bought a sprinkler
attached it to the tap in his kitchen sink
and then fell asleep
The Fonz may be cool
but Henry's got a lawn lie a swimming pool -uh oh.
Socrates beats ya!
|
||||
9. |
||||
|
Hey You!
What's that on your face?
You look like a '70's sit-com banker.
|
||||
10. |
Flat pack Furniture
00:57
|
|||
|
Flat Pack Furniture Ha Ha Ha
Flat Pack Furniture Ho Ho Ho
Flat Pack Furniture He He He
Flat Pack Furniture
Flat Pack Furniture
|
||||
11. |
||||
|
Sitting in a comfy chair with a lovely cup of tea.
Handcuffs and Pepper Spray x 2
Twenty one years old today, oh happy birthday me.
H&PS x2
Here come the guests in blue flak vests
bearing arms instead of gifts
H&PS x2
Stingy string in hand held pumps, ooh they're giving me the bumps
H&PSx2
I can't see, eyes full of stuff, must be time for blind man's bluff
H&PSx2
The perfect end to a perfect day, a ride in a police car hip hooray!
H&PSx4
|
||||
12. |
Quinoa
01:52
|
|||
|
I can honestly say, without fear of contradiction
that I have never craved
QUINOA!!!!!
|
||||
13. |
High Tide
02:06
|
|||
|
If we make high tide
we'll be home by nine.
|
||||
14. |
||||
|
A bag of chips and a pot plant
Fungal infection on a bouncy castle
laser tag in a hot tub
fuel injection mobility scooter
ASBO kid in a tank top
walking down the up escalator
spills his pop on the platform
the ants and the rats will lick it up later
cagouls going cheap on the sale rail
ten percent off if you buy before Tuesday
Custard pie in the cakehole
home-knit sweater begun to unravel
sock puppet shocks with expletives
digestive biscuits on china plates
eating chips from the paper
the ants and the rats will lick it up later
the ranting actors will lick it up later
it'll all come out in the wash.
A shoe sucked off by a muddy puddle
chin cut shaving - bloody stubble
husband and wife team in a crisis
on a holiday in Nice with their nephews and nieces
good God just look at the prices
Pontius Pilate in pilate classes
a ponce of a pirate blowing glass vases
might find his elbow, if he knew where his arse is
get off your horse by the his 'n' hers toilet
it's a lovely spot until the tourists spoil it
nobody mention the clown convention
it'll all come out in the wash.
|
||||
15. |
No Nuts No Sprinkles
01:31
|
|||
|
I hear screams from the ice cream van.
Red blood spills from the ice cream man.
Mr Whippy's been whipped by an ice cold thug.
No nuts, no sprinkles, just a flake and blood.
|
||||
16. |
Miranda
03:45
|
|||
|
Miranda took one gander at the panda on the verandah
vowed to avoid the ganja and announced that she'd found God!
|
||||
All Those Ghastly Cavities Christchurch, UK
We are two blokes a guitar (Spen), a bass (Steve), a loop pedal and a big muff pi with occasional Casio. Founded 2018. We played The Blyth Power Ashes in 2019 and were booked to play Rebellion 2020 and The Ashes. We've had songs played on The Shend's (The Cravats) Spinning Man Show. We have also played Nicki's 50th birthday and Baz 'n' Shaz's wedding do. We have recorded on 2x FD4 4-tracks. ... more
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